A Loss

I figured I'd wait until after Thanksgiving to share this news, so I wouldn't be a Debbie Downer for the holiday...

Last week I had a miscarriage. My hcg levels dropped, and my midwife had me do another ultrasound, which confirmed the loss. They scheduled me for a D&C last Wednesday. Physically, I am still in a little discomfort, but overall feeling well...emotionally, John and I have been trying to cope with this as best as we can. We have definitely been wrestling with this. It had seemed that God's hand was really in this pregnancy considering the timing along with John's cancer. With John's treatment may come fertility challenges for us, so it seemed as though getting pregnant when we did was such a blessing.

All we can do at this point is take one day at a time. We return to John's oncologist on Friday after some more blood work and a PET scan this week. We will find out whether or not John has to do any chemo.

In addition to all that, John is also seeing his orthopedic specialist this week. He had been having low back and hip pain for a number of months. When he was diagnosed with cancer, there was a concern that perhaps the cancer had spread and the pain was a manifestation of the metastasis. That does not appear to be the case. His MRI showed that in fact the pain was coming from spinal stenosis and two bulging discs in his back. When he sees his doctor this week, they will discuss the treatment options. From all the reading we have done it looks like they will be considering either cortisone injections along with more physical therapy or surgery. Right now, with everything else that is going on, the surgery option seems daunting... Anyway, we will find out more after he sees the doctor this week.

At this point we are just feeling a little overwhelmed. I am not naive, I know there are people in the world who are much worse off than we are, who deal with tragedy and hardships...however, for us in this time, it seems like it's just piling up a little too heavily.

We thank you for your continued prayers.

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My friend Kristin posted some thoughts on her blog that were really encouraging considering all that we have been going through. In the margin was a link to another random blog entry that was edifying as well...read them here.
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